Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
