Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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