I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
