i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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