I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
