you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize