Already got asked if we're dating
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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