As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
