if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
