dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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