This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She's the barista slut.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
