So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
oh god was she eating orange peels again
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
