her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
