Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
