if you like me you must not know who I am
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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