So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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