The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
