I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
