Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
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I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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