If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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