You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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