What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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