With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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