I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
