Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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