walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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