any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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