There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
