Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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