I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
