I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
