Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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