Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
