ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
