God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
