I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
