It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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