everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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