Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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