okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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