Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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