He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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