Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
