it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
