He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
