It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
