i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
