i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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