I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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