and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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