To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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