I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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