Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
