Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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