it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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