I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
