Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
